Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Happy Wednesday

Gillian has a bad habit of rubbing/kicking the back of my seat in the car with her feet. I asked her to quit kicking my seat with her shoes, the response, "Actually they are boots and actually it's Daddy's seat." So it was my car but Craig was driving....I thanked her for correcting me and she stopped.

We bought special nail polish that is a dark pink but sparkly so I wouldn't be doing purple all the time. I went and got a pedicure and had light pink put on my toes...and I don't have any nail polish on my finger nails. Tonight I had to redo Gillian's toe nails light pink and she doesn't have nail polish on her finger nails. I love that she likes being like me:) I know it won't be like this forever!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Weekend Recap

It is funny but I look so forward to the weekends and then I blink and it is over. I need to start looking forward to evenings but those seem even shorter then weekends or may I need to retire young then I would look forward to everyday....Craig that last part is mainly relying on

I bought some pink sparkly nail polish which got Gillian's approval thinking we could switch from the purple to the pink and kind of go back and forth between the two but no....her nails were repainted purple on Friday night. I didn't really think she would give in and switch for a week but I had hoped maybe...

Saturday we took Gillian to dance which was the normal, we now have her trained that there can be no crying because she needs to get in and get the purple carpet to sit So it is now a mad dash to be early so she can get the purple carpet. It was costume week where she got one of her two costumes that she will be wearing in the recital in June. We got some bad news too that there will be limited seats and tickets so not everyone can come:( I'm sure it will be on video for future viewing pleasures. I know it's not the same but it will work.

Saturday afternoon we had Emma's birthday party. It was at Play Place which I was excited to see how it works because Craig and I have been thinking about having Gillian's 5th birthday party there and inviting her friends from daycare. After seeing how it works, we will not be having her 5th party there. This town really needs a place to host kids parties because there really isn't anything. I think I found a business calling my name...maybe job change instead of retirement is in my future. Either way, Gillian had a good time and Emma enjoyed it so that is all that really matters to me.

Grammie and Grampie Miner had called and asked if they could take Gillian for the remainder of the day and the night so I dropped Gillian off. After chatting with Janet for about an hour, I was told to leave by my daughter. Obviously I was cramping her style.

So what to do all by myself (Craig was working). I went to PetSmart and looked at cats. You may be thinking,"But Barb, you have never had a cat" or "Your dog may eat a cat." Both are normal thoughts. I'm hesitant to get a cat because I have never owned one but they seem like a dog but less needy. Pooh is pretty low maintenance. Feed her once a day and give her a rub down and she pretty much leaves you alone until the next day. I have observed cats doing pretty much that. Although Pooh appears very tough (great guard dog), whenever a cat comes in our yard, she charges at it, it hits or swats and she lays down. Yup, great guard dog....

You are probably wondering what brought on this cat interest. Gillian asked for a cat a while ago and we considered and refused. Gillian asked me for a hamster on Saturday, it went like this - "Mom, I want a hamster. A real, live one." I not knowing what to say....told her to ask her Dad. I don't want hamsters (fury mice), mice (hairless hamsters), guinea pigs (hippie hamster) or fish (cleaning the tank is a pain and really they are fun to watch for 2 seconds) or birds (I would never clean that cage or let it out of it's cage). So this lead me to the cat. I could handle the litter box...automatic litter cleaner, here we come. I figure, Gillian will be entertained by it and go back to her own thing, the cat will investigate Gillian and go back to it's own thing. PERFECT relationship, right?

I mentioned my adventure to Craig on Sunday and he appeared less than impressed about my looking. We'll see....I send baby brown eyes in and we probably would end up with kidding honey:)

Sunday was calm and relaxing. I laid on the couch most of the day reading. I think that reading is helping me as much as therapy. It's like my me time....even if others are around and I'm ready, they don't know what I'm reading and if they start talking to me without saying my name, I might be so into my book that I don't even pay attention. I get so into the stories that it is like a good show that you can't turn off until it is done. I'm averaging a 400 page book a week. Which is probably nothing special but when I wasn't reading a page a week back in early December I think that's pretty good.

I picked up Gillian from her grandparents and she didn't want to come with me (not a shocker). We talked all the way home so I'm not sure how it happened but from turning into our development to our driveway she fell asleep to the point that I moved her and she didn't budge. She slept for 2 hours. I let her although I probably should have woken her but she still made it to be on time and fell asleep so obviously she needed the sleep. She had her bath, a pear, shows and her goodnight stories...and a surprise voice mail from Dad that I saved for her right before bed so she could hear his voice...

Friday, March 26, 2010

The last 4 years...

The last 4 years of my life have been the hardest years of my life. It has taken me 4 years to admit that. I had to realize that I can't do it all, realize that I was scared and realize that I have to let others in...

Talking to my friend was the best decision. I feel so much better. The pain I have been feeling is now healing.

This is the first birthday of Gillian's that I haven't cried or felt any anxiety. I enjoyed her birthday and the week leading up to her birthday. Instead of dwelling on what has happened, I looked at my little girl and took in every minute. I had fun and I feel like the people around me had fun.

Normally I spend January through April in a rut of reliving the end of my pregnancy and the first 33 days of Gillian's life. Even though I wanted to move on, I couldn't because it was a life changing and threatening event. It isn't a situation that anyone moves on from, you learn to live with it and continue life. I've learned a lot about myself and the people around me by going to see my friend. I truly wish that I had done it sooner.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Happy Birthday Gillian!

Four years ago at this moment Gillian joined the world. Although she was expected, she was not necessarily expected 13 and a half weeks early. Craig and I fell in love with her at first site. She has become the light of our lives. As the years pass and memories are made, we are still stunned at how fast it is going. It does not feel like 4 years ago, Gillian was born weighing 1lb 12ozes with an 85% chance of survival. If you look at her or talk to her today you would never guess that she was premature. She is our true miracle.
Happy Birthday Gillian!

Happy Wednesday

So the funny things my daughter has said lately....

Gillian loves to play play-doh. I made the mistake of rolling play-doh into balls to make snowmen at Christmas time and now I'm rolling play-doh balls all the time. Mainly they are referred to lemons for lemonade. So Gillian makes Craig roll play-doh into balls too. Gillian told Craig,"You need to watch Mommy roll balls because she does them right. Yours are too big." I looked at Craig and asked how it felt to be critiqued by a 4 year

I was doing Gillian's hair and anyone who has seen it knows that it has to be wet down to do anything with it. So I had the water going and I was wetting Gillian's hair by putting the brush under the faucet then brushing her hair. So Gillian reaches over, turns off the faucet and says to me,"Mom you are wasting water, you have to turn it off." Seriously....where does she get this stuff?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Birthday Bash Pictures!

Gillian's purplicious party went perfectly. Here are some of the pictures from the event...

Gillian and her giant purple cupcake.

Gillian & Emma had purple/white boas to wear.

I read all of Gillian's card to her although I don't think she was completely paying attention.

Gillian was very excited for her extremely large hoola hoop.

Zandra enjoyed watching people watching.

Emma & Gillian had tons of fun playing always.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Weekend Recap

We had a busy weekend.

Saturday, we got up and went to dance class like normal. She did really really good. She got out in front of the class and demonstrated a move which is a big step for her. After dance we went to get Craig's hair cut and pick up the balloons for Gillian's party. When we got home I started baking Gillian's cake which was a giant cupcake. While I did this, Craig and Gillian played Play-Doh. Once the cake was done baking and cooling, we made purple frosting and frosted the cake....the cake came out really good, if I do say so

Gillian's party went really well and everyone seemed to have fun. Gillian and Emma seemed to like the purple/white boas I bought for them. It was a totally purple themed day. Gillian got a ton of great gifts which she is having so much fun playing with. The day always ends up overwhelming Gillian but she handled it well.

Sunday, Craig and I slept in because my Mom had taken Gillian for the night. Once we were up and mobile we went to find out about about ordering mini cupcakes for Gillian to bring to daycare for her birthday...which we can't order apparently they come premade so now I have a mini cupcake tin and I'm going to attempt the chocolate cupcakes with purple frosting. While we were shopping, we picked up some odds and ends that were forgotten during our weekly shopping trip and we did our Easter shopping and picked up one of Emma's birthday gifts. Very production day. It was during this time that I had found out that Gillian had been sick the night before:( Once we dropped groceries off I headed to my parents to pick her up. She doesn't seem sick but she doesn't seem herself if that makes any sense. Gillian played with all her new toys all afternoon then we went to Craig's parents for dinner. It was nice to visit and see the puppy....he is growing fast.

The weekend has been a blur and goes by way too fast...

Friday, March 19, 2010

Busy Busy Busy

This past week has been extremely busy...I had follow up appointments for both of my surgeries last month. Monday March 22nd, I'm having gum surgery again on a 2nd tooth. I'm not as nervous as last time but still not looking forward to it.
I wanted to make sure to squeeze in a blood donation because I can't do it for 6 weeks after my gum surgery. So I went and saw Heidi and Hope again and they made me laugh like always. I got a free t-shirt, a tube of hand sanitizer, 2 cookies and orange juice in exchange for my pint of blood. 4 minutes and 38 seconds to get the blood out....the longest part is filling out the paperwork. I like that when I leave there I feel like I have done something wonderful for someone else.
I've been busy planning and prepping for Gillian's birthday too...her party is Saturday March 20th. It's purple theme and she is very excited this year. I will definitely have pictures and information to follow on that.
Have a good weekend!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy Wednesday!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

So Friday I had to pick up some prescriptions so Gillian and I went to Target. I had told Gillian ahead of time why we were going there and when we arrived at the pick up counter before I could say anything, Gillian yells,"We're here to get her medication!" Like I'm a crazy!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Weekend Recap

This past weekend flew by.

Saturday morning we were up and out to dance class. Gillian is slowly getting over her fear. We were late for class so she had to go in while all the other kids were sitting down which is very hard for her but she did it! Yeah for Gillian! Then we were invited in to be the audience which if her vote was the only vote we wouldn't have been in there because she doesn't appear to like the audience (not that I can blame her). Twenty parents staring can be overwhelming for a 3 year old. After dance we headed home to get Gillian changed because she was headed to Grammie Brooks's so Craig could sleep and I could go get my hair cut.

My hair is now much shorter than it has been in as long as I can remember....I can't even put it in a tiny pony tail. I like it and it is super easy to take care of. It was a nice change.

Saturday evening my parents had (almost) everyone over for dinner. Craig had to work and Sean & Andrea were sleeping. It was nice to hang out and visit since we hadn't done that since New Years. I fed Zandra and that was a different experience. I kept waking for her to choke, gag and reflux but that never happened. I had never fed a baby besides Gillian so I didn't realize how easy it can be. Not that Gillian didn't become easy once there was a routine but it was definitely different.

Saturday night I decided since I didn't have a child that I was going to lounge around and watch TV. I hopped on the Internet and started reviewing the workout for Couch Potato to 5k....and decided I would start it at 6am Sunday morning. You may wonder why I'm telling you I figure if I put it on here and I see anyone they may ask about it and I don't want to say,"I'm a quitter" so I will have to stick with it.

Sunday morning at 6am I did the first workout with Pooh Bear (I volunteered her to be my coach/motivator). Is it sad that when I had to jog, Pooh Bear walked fast? She didn't jog or run. I did 3 laps which equals 2.1 miles (no, I didn't jog that far, it's a walk/jog combination) and the 2nd and 3rd laps Pooh didn't even want to come. I guess I should have gotten permission. I survived the first workout and I'm sure I will be sore but I'll keep with it (hopefully).

I picked Gillian up around 1pm on Sunday. She didn't want to come home. Not that I didn't expect it. Grammie and another child to play with, home isn't fun like that. We came home and had a quiet afternoon of sleep and cartoons.

It was a nice weekend but definitely went by too fast!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Pine cone Patrol

Last night I took Gillian outside. This to me is perfect weather. It's comfortable and there are no bugs. To me that is perfect. So first Gillian played in her sand box while I read the mail. Then we went on pine cone patrol. First in our yard then we ventured into the neighbors yard. They are still in Florida and I'm sure they won't have any issue with Gillian stealing pine cones from their yard. I took pictures just to prove to Craig that I took her out.

Look at all the pine cones...

Trucking all the pine cones back to the monster pile.

Dumping the pine cones into the pile.

After we were done with outside, Gillian and I cooked dinner. We made pigs in a blanket with a quarter of a full size hot dog, cheese and crescent rolls. Gillian was thrilled that I had her help roll all the pigs. And they are made of her favorite things so she was really excited to try them. It was definitely a good meal.

To end the perfect evening, Gillian and I had a slumber party. She was so excited to sleep in the living room. It's like a prize. I thought it was so cute that she thanked me for letting her sleep downstairs.

It was a great night.

If you want to see what was going on 4 years ago today, click here.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Flashback #1

I went and saw my friend on Tuesday. I was thrilled to go see her because on Monday I started to get anxious and realized that this week is when I started to get sick during my pregnancy. I guess I was technically sick the whole pregnancy but this is when I started to get really sick.

I had a really good session and apparently this is very normal. That I may get anxious every year at this time. Some years may be better than others and I may start to remember things that happened that I have never recalled before. She told me I needed to try to relax and be forgiving to myself if I'm more emotional than normal. And to always remind myself that I never have to go through it again.

Click here to read the beginning of the end of my pregnancy.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Happy Wednesday!

Okay so a couple funny things Gillian has done lately.

On Monday I was talking to Mary about the things that Gillian says to us that make us laugh so she shared a story with me. Apparently Gillian compliments Mary daily (which must be nice) whether it be that Mary is beautiful, pretty or Gillian likes her shirt. So one day last week this was their conversation -

Gillian - "Um, Ms. Mary...."

Mary - "Yes Gillian." (Mary is thinking her daily compliment is coming)

Gillian - "Ms. Mary I don't think you match today."

Mary (who looked at her clothes 3 times before -"But I'm wearing jeans, they go with everything."

Gillian - "Oh...(giggle)"

This made me chuckle. Then I leave with Gillian and on the way to the car, the following happens -

Me - "Gillian your boots are really muddy."

Gillian - "Actually it's mulch."

Me - "Oh, your boots are really mulchy."

Gillian - Actually it's from the mulch which is on the mud"

Me - "Okay then." (what else can I possibly say

Monday, March 8, 2010

Weekend Recap


Gillian had dance class which she was the first student in the room so she got to first pick of which carpet she could sit on. She appeared like she had won a great honor and of course picked a purple one.
After dance we all went home. Craig went to bed since he had worked overnight. Gillian set out on a mission. First we went to cycle (recycle) then we returned bottles. I had never taken Gillian to return bottles. I carried in the 2 garbage bags while she carried the 12 pack of empty beer bottles. She was very proud that she could carry the empty bottles. She didn't seem bothered by the young kid that took our bottles and started counting them so we wandered around then when I went back to check if they were done and there was a man that is probably extremely nice but is very intimidating looking. Next thing I know Gillian is standing behind me latched onto my jeans. This is where she remains until we leave. I keep telling her she is fine but she won't budge. So we head out and of course she gets in front of me at this point. Grabs my hand at the door and tells me she doesn't like returning bottles, it's scary in there. I found this extremely humorous.

From there we went to find some Easter books which was quite a bit of fun. I love looking at books and Gillian seems to like it too. She actually wanted more books but I limited it to two books. We have tons of books (I'm actually going to go through them with Gillian soon to get rid of some because like her toys there are way too many and some she has outgrown).

Saturday evening Craig's parents came over to test Craig's chicken wing trial. Of course Gillian took advantage of this and invited herself over to Grammie and Grampie's for the night. It made a nice night for me because I was able to catch up on TV and get some sleep.


I was able to sleep in since Gillian wasn't home. I took Pooh for a 1.4 mile walk because it was so nice out. I think every dog in our development got walked. The spring air was intoxicating and motivating. When Craig got up, we painted all the trim for the entry way and kitchen. Then I did a test run for Gillian's birthday cake since I had never made the cupcake cake. It was so easy to make the cake and use the icing decorator. Now I just have to find purple food coloring for the icing and I'm set for the birthday party. We picked up Gillian and she had a busy day outside with Grammie and Grampie. I could tell she was tired but she fight it until bed time. I asked her what she thought of the cake and her response, "The frosting is suppose to be purple." I explained that this was the test run.

Friday, March 5, 2010


Sorry for no post yesterday. Gillian has had a stuffy nose & cough for the last week so I have been a bit exhausted.

Today was Dr. Seuss's Birthday at daycare so Gillian came home with a new hat and a new necklace that she was extremely excited about.

Tonight Craig had a card game for the first time in what seems like forever. Gillian and I played play doh, watched cartoons, she took a bath, watched some shows and read books. We also made her calendar. Gillian decided this week she wanted to learn what days of the week and dates. So we bought a desk calendar and I rip the current month off and posted it on the fridge. I put dance class on it and Gillian's birthday. For everyday that passes we put a sticker on that day. We counted how many days until her birthday - 19. She is very excited about it. She has told all her friends at daycare that she is bringing cupcakes with purple frosting for snack on her birthday (glad she informed Craig and I after she told her

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Happy Wednesday!

Some interestingly funny things Gillian has said lately.

She told Craig she had to go potty so they go running for the bathroom. She tells him to cover his nose with his t-shirt because it is going to be stinky.
I was running late (go figure) and I needed to be to work on time. So I told Gillian we needed to hurry because I needed to be on time. Her response,"I'm going as fast as I can so you are going to have to be late."
Gillian insisted that I buckle the pink puppy in the vehicle so that he didn't get hurt if anything happened while we were driving. And because I want everyone safe in my vehicle, I buckled in pink

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

March for Babies

I had a conference call with the committee for the March for Babies on Friday. It lasted about 45 minutes and seemed pretty productive. This will be Team Gillian's fourth walk and my first year being on the committee. I'm excited to get more involved with the walk. Although I do still find this time of year stressful with memories, doing the walk side tracks me.

I'm the ambassador Mom which means that I will be sharing Gillian's story at the walk. I read through my speech every couple days so hopefully day of I will be completely prepared. I will also be interviewed by media prior to the walk to help get more publicity.

I'm also in charge of the March for Babies - Plattsburgh facebook page. Not that this is a huge role, I'm keeping everyone updated on facebook and again trying to publicize the walk more. I put the page together yesterday and today I added all the team pictures from last year. Next week I want to add walk pictures from last year and the following week I plan to add pictures from the Preemie Parade. I also plan to give weekly updates of which teams have signed up online from last year. It will keep me busy and I'm glad to help.

This year is also a big year because Team Gillian is going to hit the $10,000 mark in our fourth year of walking. It's a milestone, one that I'm really looking forward to.

Monday, March 1, 2010

The weekend

The weekend was back to normal. Gillian had dance on Saturday morning. Then we went to breakfast with Craig's parents which was nice. We hadn't seen them in a bit. Gillian went and spent the day with them. I was exhausted and ended up sleeping for 3 hours that afternoon.

Gillian has had a cough and stuffing nose. I must have gotten up half a dozen times Saturday night because she kept waking up. Needing a drink, had to use the bathroom, needed a tissue, just wanting some comfort. Thankfully I got that nap in.

Sunday morning we went to breakfast with my parents which we don't do often. Then we did some shopping. Then back home for a quiet afternoon.

I did start some of the old posts...hope you enjoy.