Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Full House

I had a full house of visitors tonight. My Mom was still here from last night. My Dad came to visit and get my Mom. Janet and Jody came to visit. Sean, Meighan and Emma came to visit since they were in the area to celebrate Emma's birthday a day early. To say it was a bit overwhelming was an understatement as they were all here at the same time. And due to my situation of 80% seeing a totally healthy child does not make me feel better.

I was able to share the good news since they were all together that we had an official name for Gerty, Gillian. Craig came through in the overnight challenge. I'm a little hesitant of the name starting with a G rather than J but like that it's different. Although we have agreed on a middle name we are not sharing that until after she is here.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Things are going down!

Today did not go well.

I had my tour of the NICU in a wheel chair because they tell me my baby will be coming soon. I can’t believe Gerty is that small. The babies were so small and there are so many tubes and wires. I keep asking her to stay put but I don’t think it is up to her anymore. I think my body has become too hostile of an environment for her.

They sent a medical student to come talk to me tonight about the risks of having a baby at this gestation, I’m 26 weeks today. 80% chance of survival…I never thought I would hear those words. What happened to you get pregnant and have a baby 9 months later? There was no get about 6 and ½ months in and then we may need to deliver! For the most part I have kept my cool with the pregnancy and tried to roll with the punches but the 80% survival rate really set me off and the poor medical student that I don’t think was prepared for an angry mother got the brunt of my anger. I DID NOT COME THIS FAR FOR 80%....

Needless to say by the time the medical student left, I was in tears and she was trying very hard not to cry.

My Mom is staying with me tonight because they aren’t sure I’m going to make it through the night and she doesn’t want me to be alone for the delivery. Craig is still downstate for work…I’ve told him he has to have name by morning or I’m naming her whatever comes out of my mouth in the delivery room.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Follow Up Gone Bad Part 2

Per the hospital's discharge orders I returned to my OB to make sure everything is going as planned and that I'm not getting sicker. Oh they were wrong...back to Burlington I was sent so I could be close to a NICU. This time my OB's office said I won't be coming back until after I've had my baby. I'm only 25 weeks 6 days. How is this possible? They plan on me being in the hospital for weeks....this may make me crazy. Four days last week seemed like eternity. As much as I don't want this to be a short stay because I want Gerty to develop...laying around waiting for other people to wait on me sounds like a nightmare. Stay tuned....

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Busting Out

The doctors determined today that I'm not getting sick fast enough to keep me. So I got to have a special ultrasound done to make sure my amniotic fluid was at the right levels. Craig is downstate and my parents are working so my friend Erika came over to bust me out of the hospital. The doctors seem optimistic that I will make it a month. So I left with an appointment for in a month and a follow up with my OB on Monday. Let's hope they are right:)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


Today my doctor came in for morning rounds and said they were going to run more tests and if I was getting sicker they would transport me to Burlington so I could be near the NICU and so I could start meeting the specialists. So all day I was the human pin cushion plus giving specimens plus having an eco cardiogram done. By 6pm when my doctor came back for evening rounds it was determined that I needed to go to Burlington.

I had never been in an ambulance before and I was positive by the end of my ride that I never wanted to go again. Something about riding backwards did not agree with me.

When I got to Burlington everything became a blur. I had no idea where the hospital was as I had never been there before and I didn't know my way around the hospital so I just felt lost. They brought me up to labor and delivery where I would be staying for more tests. I met the doctor and the resident within minutes of my arrival. The doctor was extremely nice and knew all about me because my doctor at home had been consulting him about my pregnancy. The resident was not friendly at all. She basically wanted to know why I was sent to them because she didn't feel I was sick enough. I chalked her behavior up to a bad day. They hooked me to all the monitors and then we waited again.

All the tests came back that I hadn't changed since being moved so they were moving me down to the maternity ward until they could figure out what to do with me. I had to share a room with a stranger and I was by myself again. I called Craig and I cried. I was scared and I felt so alone. Thankfully someone kept kicking me to remind me that I wasn't alone.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Follow up gone bad

So I went for my follow up today and it didn't go well at all. I went in and they took my blood pressure, came back 140/90 which is normal for me at the moment. I went to give my urine sample, my nurse dipped the normal stick in it and immediately in a panicked voice told me to sit down. So I sat while she left the room and I began to panic - what the hell is going on!

She came back to get me and bring me to a room and my doctor followed her in. My doctor informed me that I now have protein in my urine which is what we knew would eventually happen but we were hoping to make it to 36 weeks...wishful thinking. So I now have preclampsia and I was told I had to be admitted to the hospital so they could keep an eye on me. That is when I lost it. Uncontrollable and hysterical... The doctor kept telling me I need to calm down but calm down is not what I could do, it's too early I kept thinking. I have done tons of research, that is all I have done is too early is all I kept thinking.

My good friend Erika was off so she was the first on the scene once they got me to a room. She came equipped with candy and magazines. She always knows what to do. She stayed until family got there after work so I wouldn't be alone. The nice part of being in the hospital was that I'm not alone anymore.

I'm so worried about Pooh being stuck home alone. She is my first baby and she has never been left home alone like this. We have people checking in on her and letting her out and spending time with her but it's just not the same. I know she has been worried about me so hopefully she will understand.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Labor and Delivery

Tonight I had to go to Labor and Delivery. It was the first time I had ever been and was after hours so it seemed so odd to be in the hospital when it is quiet and seems like no one is around.

I had taken my night time blood pressure and it kept coming back 160/110 so I called the on call doctor and they directed me to Labor and Delivery.

Craig was playing cards and offered to come get me or meet me there but I told him to enjoy because it was probably a false alarm. I assured him that I would contact him if anything was wrong.

The nurse I had was super friendly and the had no patients so I got tons of attention. They had to run a bunch of tests and hook me to monitors to make sure the baby wasn't in distress.

They had to take blood and urine for tests, something that stood out to me and is kind of haunting me is in the bathroom there was an advertisement for a local funeral home that offered free services for families that have babies that die at birth....what an awful thought. I know it happens but didn't need to see that tonight.

All my tests came back normal so the doctor told me to go in for a follow up appointment on Monday morning at 10am. Hoping to keep this baby in as long as possible.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

It's a Girl!

I had my big appointment today and it's a GIRL! I was undecided on preference for the sex of the baby although up until now Craig and I only could agree on the name Jacob Thomas....that is obviously not going to work anymore.

Craig could not be at the appointment because he is at the academy so I surprised him by traveling down to Albany to visit him. A friend was down there for training so I stayed with her and got to tell Craig in person and show him the ultra sound which was nice. We called our parents and told everyone.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Hope is lost....

I had my appointment today and it didn't go quite how I thought. I have been feeling good and my bp has been pretty consistent. The doctor had said at the last appointment that if both those things happened that I could possibly go back to work. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

I was obviously upset when the doctor told me that I wouldn't be going to work until after the baby was born. I'm home alone all the time. It's lonely. I had even bought some maternity clothes because I really thought I was going back. It did throw me into reality when the doctor asked if my coworkers would be able to help me if I had a heart attack or stroke on the sales floor. Being a person that doesn't like to draw attention the idea of that happening is mortifying. So back to my big empty house...

Sunday, January 1, 2006


Craig left today:( I know it's for the best but now it's just me, the bun in the oven and Pooh in this big house. It is the most lonely I have ever been....