Wednesday, December 28, 2005


I had an appointment today. It went good. The doctor seemed happy with how the medication is working. He did warn me that I'm high risk for a preemie. He didn't elaborate on it just told me that I was high risk. He also said that at my next appointment if my bp is consistent and I'm feeling good it may be possible to go back to work.

It is sad that I'm so bored at home that I want to go back to work. I'm home alone all day long. I have watched everything possible on TV and started watching entire television shows on dvd. I have read all the books that have been sitting around for the past year. I have nothing to do so this sitting home relaxing thing isn't very relaxing.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving....or not....

Today we celebrated Thanksgiving at our house. Since we moved in, Craig and I have hosted this holiday. I really wasn't in the mood to do it but I wouldn't have wanted to go anywhere either. I'm retaining so much water that I can not wear my engagement ring and I can't even zip up my coat! Not feeling so fabulous for 2 months pregnant.

Prior to everyone getting here except my parents I had my first meltdown in front of my Mom. I'm so angry these days. Why am I having so many problems? I guess it isn't so many as one huge one. I just feel it is so unfair:(

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Bed rest

I had my follow up with the the doctor today to check my blood pressure and make sure there was a heart beat.

There was a heart beat, it was 160 (by the books this means it is a girl but the ultra sound person says not to rely on that). This was positive news.

Now the not so positive news. My doctor has taken me out of work and told me to relax. My bp is running 160/110 and they have put me on medication to try to lower it. I would cross my fingers that this works however they are so swollen from water retention that I can't cross my fingers.

Interested to see how this relaxing thing works out....

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Telling the family

So I can't keep a secret anymore. Craig's aunt and uncle from North Carolina and we are expected to be at dinner with Craig's immediate family and the aunt and uncle. I tell Craig we have to tell them.

Craig is more nervous than I have ever seen him which makes me feel more anxiety. So we go through the entire meeting and Craig still hasn't said anything. So at the end of the meal, Craig and I are whispering at each other and Jody gets everyone's attention by asking us what is going on and Craig's response, "Barb has something to tell everyone." No, we, no I but Barb has something...go figure. So we tell them and everyone is shocked like us and congratulate us.

From dinner we head to my parents because we might as well get it out. I call my Mom to let her know we are stopping by. She is obviously suspicious since we are both coming over and it is 8pm. We get there and the three of us go into the living room where I tell my Mom that I'm pregnant. From then we argue over who will tell my Dad. I don't want to tell him - hello what am I admitting I did and Craig doesn't want to tell him - hello what is he admitting he did. So my Mom calls him through and we admit what we did and that there is a baby on the way.

I tell my siblings via txt messaging. I love technology.

Just like us - both our families are in complete shock as well.

Monday, October 24, 2005


Craig and I spent the weekend ignoring the stork in the room. We decided on Saturday that until I went for a confirmation at the doctors that it wasn't really true. Lol! So we tell no one and barely talk all weekend. We carry on life like the stork isn't there.

So this morning I go to the doctor for confirmation. I explain that I'm there for a pregnancy test because I took an over the counter one and think I got a false positive. They inform me that their tests are the same as the over the counter so if I got a positive, it is most likely positive. They should advertise this stuff! So they give me a test and confirm that I'm definitely expecting. They take my bp and are very concerned. The set up an apt for November 7th to follow up with the doctor.

So I let Craig know it's confirmed then I leave for Syracuse to go to a dinner and overnight stay for a meeting the next day. I don't want to go and try to call in sick and I'm told to go to Syracuse. It is the last thing that I want to do but figure maybe it's good to carry on business as usual.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Pregnancy Test

I've been on vacation all week and something has felt off. I'm exhausted (enough that I'm taking naps daily) and I'm sore all over. Other than that I felt fine. Normally I would assume it was the flu until I realize that I never got my period. Craig was a cards so I decided to go to the drug store to buy a pregnancy test. I'm expecting a negative outcome and a waste of $20. So you can imagine my surprise when it comes back positive. So after I peel myself off the bathroom floor I decide to go to Wal-Mart to buy another test and a card (more on the card to come).

This pregnancy test comes with two tests so I take them both and two more positives. Seriously? What the hell happened? I'm not expecting Craig home for hours because cards on Friday nights always go super late. So I write in the card that I'm pregnant, tape it to the mirror in our bathroom and go to bed. Not that I could sleep. I laid there for hours wondering how we can afford a child, how we will have have a child with our jobs, how the hell did this happen - all the doctors told me I would never get pregnant without assistance. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN!

Yes, it was selfish of me to write it in a card. I fully admit this. But I was a mess, confused, scared, sad & happy. Yes, although I wouldn't show it for quite some time, a part of me was happy. I imagine I was paler than normal from total shock.