Thursday, September 2, 2010

Permanent Reminder

I have had my newest tattoo picked out for about a year and a half. It was actually going to be my Mother Day's gift in 2009 but I just wasn't ready. I had the copies made and tucked them away knowing one day it would be time.

This past Mother's Day it came as a possibility again and I was feeling good after sharing our story at the March of Dimes walk but I still wasn't feeling it.

I wanted it done but hadn't made final decisions. Something just didn't seem right with it but I couldn't put my finger on it.

In the last month I made final decisions and had Craig make me an apt. So this morning I was a nervous wreck, not over whether I would like it but over how much it would hurt. There isn't much fat on the top of the foot. The pain that I was expecting was stressing me right out. I've gotten a tattoo before and that didn't hurt but I had convinced myself that because it was my foot it would be excruciating.

I showed up early (yes, it is possible) for my apt. I was immediately put at ease when she told me how excited she was about this tattoo and how she had shown everyone that came in the shop the size of Gillian's tiny foot since I dropped it off two days before. I explained that although the insurance company was heartless requiring a foot or hand print as proof she was born because she was 3 months early without them requiring it we wouldn't have that cute little foot print. The tattoo artist shared a preemie story with me of a man that is in his fifties now. We had a whole discussion about babies and preemies and how she was pregnant when she did my first tattoo and her son is now 12. Craig came (I needed a security blanket in case the pain was too much) and we all chatted. It wasn't painful and went by so fast....I would actually say I enjoyed it.

Now hours later I can't stop staring at it...I love it. It reminds me of the strength my daughter has and the strength Craig and I have. All 3 of us could have fallen apart at any point but we were there for each other and rather pulling us apart it brought us so much closer together....

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