Today did not go well.
I had my tour of the NICU in a wheel chair because they tell me my baby will be coming soon. I can’t believe Gerty is that small. The babies were so small and there are so many tubes and wires. I keep asking her to stay put but I don’t think it is up to her anymore. I think my body has become too hostile of an environment for her.
They sent a medical student to come talk to me tonight about the risks of having a baby at this gestation, I’m 26 weeks today. 80% chance of survival…I never thought I would hear those words. What happened to you get pregnant and have a baby 9 months later? There was no get about 6 and ½ months in and then we may need to deliver! For the most part I have kept my cool with the pregnancy and tried to roll with the punches but the 80% survival rate really set me off and the poor medical student that I don’t think was prepared for an angry mother got the brunt of my anger. I DID NOT COME THIS FAR FOR 80%....
Needless to say by the time the medical student left, I was in tears and she was trying very hard not to cry.
My Mom is staying with me tonight because they aren’t sure I’m going to make it through the night and she doesn’t want me to be alone for the delivery. Craig is still downstate for work…I’ve told him he has to have name by morning or I’m naming her whatever comes out of my mouth in the delivery room.