Friday, October 21, 2005

Pregnancy Test

I've been on vacation all week and something has felt off. I'm exhausted (enough that I'm taking naps daily) and I'm sore all over. Other than that I felt fine. Normally I would assume it was the flu until I realize that I never got my period. Craig was a cards so I decided to go to the drug store to buy a pregnancy test. I'm expecting a negative outcome and a waste of $20. So you can imagine my surprise when it comes back positive. So after I peel myself off the bathroom floor I decide to go to Wal-Mart to buy another test and a card (more on the card to come).

This pregnancy test comes with two tests so I take them both and two more positives. Seriously? What the hell happened? I'm not expecting Craig home for hours because cards on Friday nights always go super late. So I write in the card that I'm pregnant, tape it to the mirror in our bathroom and go to bed. Not that I could sleep. I laid there for hours wondering how we can afford a child, how we will have have a child with our jobs, how the hell did this happen - all the doctors told me I would never get pregnant without assistance. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN!

Yes, it was selfish of me to write it in a card. I fully admit this. But I was a mess, confused, scared, sad & happy. Yes, although I wouldn't show it for quite some time, a part of me was happy. I imagine I was paler than normal from total shock.

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