I've been on vacation all week and something has felt off. I'm exhausted (enough that I'm taking naps daily) and I'm sore all over. Other than that I felt fine. Normally I would assume it was the flu until I realize that I never got my period. Craig was a cards so I decided to go to the drug store to buy a pregnancy test. I'm expecting a negative outcome and a waste of $20. So you can imagine my surprise when it comes back positive. So after I peel myself off the bathroom floor I decide to go to Wal-Mart to buy another test and a card (more on the card to come).
This pregnancy test comes with two tests so I take them both and two more positives. Seriously? What the hell happened? I'm not expecting Craig home for hours because cards on Friday nights always go super late. So I write in the card that I'm pregnant, tape it to the mirror in our bathroom and go to bed. Not that I could sleep. I laid there for hours wondering how we can afford a child, how we will have have a child with our jobs, how the hell did this happen - all the doctors told me I would never get pregnant without assistance. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN!
Yes, it was selfish of me to write it in a card. I fully admit this. But I was a mess, confused, scared, sad & happy. Yes, although I wouldn't show it for quite some time, a part of me was happy. I imagine I was paler than normal from total shock.